When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad...

...I simply remember my favourite things and then I don't feel so bad...

I remember dawn breaking on our first morning as we drove through California and seeing Lake Shasta emerging through the early morning mist. 

 I remember feeling my heart soar as I drove past the 'Welcome to Oregon' sign and finding it hard to believe that I was there again after so many years of knowing it was the place in the world I most wanted to be. I remember my first cinnamon melt. I remember scaring Lara and Shannon half to death by literally screaming with excitement as we left the freeway at the exit for Jeff's house. I remember having to stop the car briefly just before we drove into his street, just to take a few deep breaths and wipe a pesky stray tear away from my eyes. I remember a very familiar hug. I remember a Cricket store full of very bewildered people getting their first taste of the Bert and Mary show. I remember laughter. I remember a beautiful riverside park and Shannon and Lara riding a bronze horse right under a 'Do not ride the horse' sign.

 I remember a very loud argument in a dentist's waiting room about the accuracy and reliability (or otherwise) of statistical data. I remember being the sous-chef of the most magnificant lasagne I ever did taste. I remember the ocean and a picnic on a cliff top.

I remember being very close to running out of gas on a long drive on an ocean road with no gas stations and really not caring too very much about it at all. I remember "I'm small and needy". I remember the four of us eating Chinese takeout and Ben and Jerry's and watching Gavin and Stacey as Jeff pounded on his knees with excitement at the brilliance of the writing. I remember a mighty fine hamburger.  I remember buckskin. I remember the mix of excitement and nerves about going to Bend again and meeting my friend Flip for the first time in six years. I remember snow..lots of snow and some very slick tyres on a very slippery mountain pass. I remember an early morning knock on my door, opening it and seeing Flip standing there smiling at me, just as I'd imagined so many times over the years. I remember a bottle of Jack Daniels, some jelly beans, lots and lots of giggling and total relaxation. I remember hearing coyotes howling at the wild antelope that were running across the desert. I remember shooting shit with Flip and watching him at his most natural and comfortable, in the place I have imagined him for years. I remember looking at him as we talked and laughed and still not quite being able to quite register that we were actually in the same room.

 I remember lots of laughter as I served whisky to a dentist hard at work in his lab. I remember not wanting to say goodbye and aching to turn round and go right on back.

I remember driving up to a pristine white mountain and filling my lungs with crisp, dry air. I remember a sherrif who was not overly impressed with my speeding exploits over a mountain pass. I remember cooking beef and biscuits with Jeff and chopping the onions and peppers rather larger than normal but finding out that he rather liked how they tasted that way. I remember texting the Bert at the other end of the sofa to request one of his special foot rubs because it seemed so rude to just 'ask'. I remember driving to Seattle amid constant texts from my friends who were already there wondering if I was there yet. I remember a tap on my shoulder at check in and turning around to see my Melanie. I remember us falling into each other's arms and having the biggest hug. I remember Katie. I remember Jeffy G. I remember Jim. I remember Diane and Andrew. I remember Jeff giving me an ETA of 9.20am precisely. I remember him arriving three minutes ahead of schedule.

 I remember our wonderful brunch at the Space Needle and lots and lots of laughter as we took silly photos of each other afterwards.

I remember the shooting range and Jeff teaching me to be surprised everytime the gun went off. I remember how proud he was of my grouping skills. I remember my two peacocks preening their feathers in a quest to be the best shooting teacher. I remember Mikey. I remember James. I remember teaching a waitress to say 'tomato' the British way. I remember total happiness surrounded by awesome friends.

I remember Melanie's speech. I remember Car Bombs, Duck Farts and Mini Moo shots. I remember Bert the chimney sweep being a rousing Robin Hood. I remember lots and lots of whipped cream. I remember my last evening at Jeff's house and more foot rubs. I remember my last morning at Jeff's house and our  goodbye. I remember Jeff trying to be all positive and cheery to stop me from being too sad. I remember watching him drive off to work and having to stop a while on his driveway until the tears cleared enough for me to drive away. I remember our first ever Blackberry IM chat as I lay in my hotel bed that first night after I left his house. I remember 10,000 miles.

 I remember driving through Napa and how much it reminded me of Italy.

I remember approaching San Francisco from the Marin Headlands and seeing the gorgeous Golden Gate bridge withe the city framed behind it. I remember Michael Buble with Diane. I remember 'You're Everything'.   

I remember the ferry to Alcatraz and the feeling of the breeze in my hair. I remember the beauty of Alcatraz Island compared to the harshness of the Cell Block.

I remember crepes on Pier 39.

I remember watching The Mariners play the Oakland A's and having the most wonderful time at the game. I remember cable cars and streetcars.

I remember getting a limousine to the airport and how frighteningly at home Lara seemed inside it.

I remember good friends and best friends. Above all though, I remember everyday that none of these memories would have been possible without the generosity, friendship, laughter and hospitality of one very special man.

Footnote:

Jeff - for the next time you get a little feisty, I have a place waiting just for you in a certain building, on a certain rock, in your very favourite city...*Hugs*