"...Hey! Look! A squirrel!"

Ok - by way of proving that just because you're paranoid it doesn't mean the squirrels aren't out to get you...here is a little something from when Bert and I were in St James Park in London..(oh and this REALLY happened and was NOT an isolated incident..they were EVERYWHERE):

Ok - 2pm and all is quiet. No need for panic. No imminent threats are perceived....aka all is good in Secret Squirrel Headquarters.

Ooh but wait a minute..one of the sentries has spotted something...

"Hrms...incoming American at 6 O'clock...repeat...incoming American and he looks like military...Secret Secret Squirrel Unit get ready for imminent infiltration...

"WILCO Sarge...currently entering underground control room. But SHIT, the nuts that I buried to stop the privates munching them are hindering access..abort mission..repeat abort mission..nuts have rendered control

room useless...

"Ok troops..this is what we have trained for...keep calm and initiate plan B. American is still incoming and closing in fast. It is worse than we initially thought men...he has been seen shouting outside Buckingham Palace already..at a gentle looking English woman with an umbrella and a nice hat...STAT men, this is NOT, repeat NOT a drill....

Thirty seconds later and all squirels are at their action stations ready to initiate Plan B...you can't see them? Well DER people..camouflage!

We knew that none of you would believe us so we stole this on a midnight raid. It was very dangerous. These guys have ACORNS don't ya know?